Dealing with Blue Read online

  “Oh, give me a break.” Sweet-talker, but she beamed anyway.

  They made their way along the sidewalk and dodged people coming in and out of stores, while he made yum-yum noises over his cream puff and told her how much fun they were going to have on their date tonight. He tried to keep it mysterious, but she was persistent and coaxed the plans out of him. She had to…how else could she go prepared? Dainty sandals, cutie-pie dress, and a purse? Sneakers, cargo pants, and a backpack? Or goggles, jogging shorts and a can of racquet balls? Could she walk and meet him somewhere, instead of him picking her up at her house? Important questions that needed answers.

  “Bonfire tonight at the cliffs,” he murmured out the side of his mouth as if he were divulging top-secret intelligence, and maybe he was.

  “A bonfire? At the cliffs?” Suzy tried not to groan. What if everyone got drunk? What if there was a fight or drugs? What about skunks and bears or worse, Gemma? “I don’t know. That’s not really my scene.”

  “C’mon! You used to live up in Big Hack in the mountains. How could a bonfire not be your scene? It’ll be fun, I promise, and when it isn’t…” He shrugged. “We leave, plain and simple. We can go to Grubby’s, see a movie, or go back to my place. I’ll teach you how to beat my dad and his buddies at Texas Hold ‘em. You got me, babe. I’m easy.”

  He walked her to the stairs of her back porch where he squeezed her hand and then let it slip from his fingers. Suzy slowly let out the breath she’d been holding. Ugh, here it comes, the awkward goodbye. Would he dive in with a steamy kiss or go the brotherly route with a peck to the forehead? Would he wrap her up in a warm hug or thud her on the back with a meaty hand? Tessa told her once that some doofus she went out with ended their date with a knuckle bump. But this wasn’t the end of the date. It was sort of the beginning, which made it more awkward.

  “So…” J.J. glanced up at the windows of her trailer house as if he were picturing himself inside, wanting an invitation to kick back, hang out, chill awhile. Suzy froze.

  What if…?

  She stood motionless while J.J. casually looked over his shoulder, across the lawn toward his own house, yet her mind buzzed like a blender, whirling at high speed.

  What if he asked to come inside? What if he walked her up to the door? What if something blocked it again? What if she tripped, trying to get in before he saw the mess, and fell on her butt? Humiliating!

  She needed a list of excuses at the ready, something like…My mom’s sleeping, otherwise I’d invite you in, or…We’re in the middle of a remodel, or better yet…We’re mopping the floors—just call us the clean freaks! But really, it was more like…When you asked if I was a dog or cat person, I meant to tell you I’m a rat person.

  J.J. slipped off his sunglasses and bored his green eyes into hers, causing her mind to seize. She gulped hard under the pressure of his full attention and stared at his mouth where his teeth raked over his lower lip. Instead of asking her the dreaded question, May I come in? he sealed his warm lips onto hers without a single touch anywhere else.

  “Mocha cocoa,” he said softly and took a couple steps back. “See you tonight.”

  He turned and sauntered into the sun with the green grass under his feet while Suzy’s entire body short circuited.

  Now, hours later, he’d turned back into a texting machine. If some other guy texted her this much, it’d be a red flag for heavy mental problems, but with J.J., it seemed fresh and fun, sweet and attentive.

  Buzz!

  JJ: Bring your fleece. But don’t worry, I’ll keep you warm.

  SUZY: U mind? Trying to get ready here.

  TESSA: Mr. Cool is J.J. Radborne?!?!

  TESSA: I want all the details later. Le sigh.

  Suzy smiled and jumped into a pair of slim jeans. She pushed her feet into her leopard flats that were not only scuffed, they were muddy, too, from running in that torrential downpour with J.J. yesterday. He’d tried to keep hold of her hand, but his grip kept slipping as they ran back to his truck, both of them, soaking wet.

  Showing affection seemed easy for J.J., probably because he had a big family. No matter, Suzy’s inner puppy lapped it up eagerly. After all, what kind of affection did she have? Sure, her dad was loving and attentive, but he also controlled everything, like where she went, for how long, what she could do, and who she could see. She sat up in those mountains, following his schedule, being his good girl, and what did it get her? He was gone, deployed overseas on some secret mission, leaving her with a mother who cared more about junk than her only flesh and blood.

  So J.J. doled out the affection, and Suzy panted for it. Ugh. Tonight was a horrible idea. Gemma would definitely be there because this whole thing was her scene, the starry nights, the bonfires, and J.J.

  Why did Gemma break up with him anyway? It was obvious to everyone, maybe even to J.J., that she regretted it. Gemma would take him back in a heartbeat. All he had to do was say the word. Her big eyes followed him even when she had Ron hanging on her arm, who seemed more like a prop than serious boyfriend material. Did Gemma and J.J. talk to each other? Did they still text?

  Suzy’s stomach shriveled like a hard raisin. This bonfire idea? Bad news, very bad news. Her heart hung out there, tender and pulsing; it was simply a matter of time before it got stomped under the heel of a muddy boot.

  Buzz!

  JJ: Bring lots of mocha cocoa ☺

  SUZY: I’m not feeling well. It’s my stomach. Can we go out another time?

  SUZY: Did u get my last message?

  SUZY: Have u left yet?

  Suzy picked up her fleece and paced her room, back and forth. Should she climb under her covers and plant a trash can by her bed? Which would deter him faster, vomiting or diarrhea? Or should she suck it up and climb out her window like a big girl?

  Rap. Rap. Rap.

  The knuckles on her window sounded like mad knuckles. He’d probably yell at her for trying to stand him up. If only things could work out between them. But she couldn’t compete with beautiful, blonde, perfect-for-J.J. Gemma. Suzy clutched her stomach. Oh, God. Now, she really didn’t feel well. This date was giving her an ulcer.

  Rap. Rap.

  Suzy crawled across her bed, oozing with guilt as she eased the window open. Cool green eyes studied her from below. She shrank back into the shadow of her room. What would he do if she didn’t come out?

  “I guess you didn’t get my messages,” she said softly. Would he climb in and haul her out like a he-man? Or would he turn on his heel and never look at her again?

  “I don’t care about your messages because I trust you, and you told me you’d give me a chance, right?” He drummed his fingers, oh-so-patiently, against the metal siding. “You’ve already got your jacket, so drop your crate, and let’s go. I like your hair by the way.”

  She squeezed the fleece in her hand and groaned.

  Suzy walked beside J.J. in the glow of the street lights without saying a word, no excuses, no explanations, just walking. They headed to the opposite end of Badger Court, away from the entrance, away from Grubby’s, the mall, and the busy downtown. He didn’t reach for her hand, he didn’t cup her shoulder, and he didn’t give her a sideways look. His chance with her plus her chance with him equaled worst date ever. The end loomed in front of them before the beginning really got started. She hadn’t lied earlier when she told him she had a stomach ache. It twisted uncomfortably with each silent step.

  Was he annoyed with her? One peek at the real Suz—an insecure, anti-fun, buzz-killer—probably filled him with regret.

  She followed him between the last two trailer houses in the loop to where the trail started, the one that cut through the thick meadow, framed with bracken ferns and dainty yellow flowers. Buttercups, right at their feet and not a peep out of him. He hadn’t called her buttercup all day.

  “Are you mad, J.J.?” Suzy allowed her fingers to snake out and touch his palm. He clasped her cool hand in his gently.

  “Not mad, really.”
He stopped her on the trail outside the fringe of a yard light before it turned into complete darkness. A small dog barked from inside the closest trailer, its paws paddling against the glass. He ignored the little yapper and faced her, his eyes hidden by shadows. “I was thinking. Why’d you want to ditch me? I mean…I thought—”

  “It’s not that I wanted to ditch you, I just…you’ll end up going back to Gemma, and in the end, I’ll be the one who gets her heart stomped.”

  “You keep bringing up Gemma. It’s like you’re…are you jealous? Don’t be.” He wrapped his arm around her shoulders and tucked her into his side while she tried to blink back a pond of tears.

  “I’m not jealous.” How could she tell him that she wanted to prepare for the worst, the impending doom? She tried to leave her walls intact, but a few bricks started to crumble off the top. Especially now, when they spoke so candidly to each other. What would it be like if situations were different between them? Like if she had a normal mom and if Gemma wasn’t so persistent, so bewitching, so blonde?

  “I told you. I’m not getting back together with her. I feel pretty damn lucky that I followed through with the absurd ‘pretend girlfriend’ bit. It’s weird because I’ve always liked you.” He shrugged. “But I didn’t know how much, you know?”

  “I like you, too, J.J.” Suzy’s heart thudded heavily under the weight of crumbling bricks as her jagged walls finally imploded. She brushed the pad of her thumb over his knuckles and tried to imprint on the moment.

  A small flashlight appeared in J.J.’s hand and cast out a slim beam of light. He tucked their entwined fists into his jacket pocket and guided them down the trail.

  “One time Gemma accused me of liking my mom’s co-worker, all because her name was Bambi and—well, she’s a super nice lady. But c’mon, she’s like almost thirty or something. Besides, I never stepped out on Gemma. I never wanted to. It makes me think she projected how she felt onto me. You know, like what Mrs. Norton said in class? Gem’s the one who couldn’t be trusted, so she made it seem like it was me, accusing me all the time.”

  The ferns swished as they walked by, and their shoes scuffed along the dirt. “But I think being a little jealous is okay, right? Especially if it’s because you’re worried about losing someone important. It’s normal. So if you’re feeling a little jealous? I don’t mind.” She could tell by the sound of his voice he was grinning from ear to ear. “I’m true to the Blue. You don’t have to worry about me, ever. If I have a problem, you’ll be the first to know about it, right? And if you have one, just talk to me. Deal?”

  Suzy nodded, and he gave her hand a squeeze. Why did Gemma break up with him again? It made absolutely no sense. She messed up big time if she were hoping to make J.J. jealous only to reel him back in. She’d lost him; he’d cut the line. Suzy glanced at J.J. with the shadows dancing on his face. Even the darkness looked good on him.

  “Maybe we should seal the deal?” she said, and her face warmed in spite of the blanketing chill. It was a bold move; she was full of them lately. He could say yes, or he could say—

  “Now you’re talking.” He pulled their entangled hands from his pocket and tucked the flashlight back wherever it had come from. His palms wandered bravely under the hem of her jacket, around to her back. He pulled her in close, nice and snug, touching his cool lips to hers and sending a wash of tingles over her skin. She let her fingers sift up into the soft hair that hung at the back of his neck and pressed the length of her body into his. He groaned, deepening the kiss while his hands smoothed down over her hips to span her back pockets. He squeezed before breaking the suction of their lips to breathe into her ear.

  “Do you still want to go?” he whispered.

  “Uh…” Suzy’s heart thumped hard, and she prayed she wouldn’t drop dead just as things were getting interesting. “You said you were going to show me your good side tonight.”

  “I thought that’s what I was doing,” he murmured, not stepping away. He kissed her lips again, and his hands coasted up to her waist. Then, he nuzzled her jaw before shifting slightly to bring the flashlight back into hand. The narrow beam cut through the darkness. “Oh, right, a perfect gentlemen. See? You made me forget.” He grinned. “C’mon, the cliffs are on the other side of the lake.”

  “Why didn’t we drive?”

  “Where’s the fun in that?” he asked. “Besides, now we have plenty of time to play onions and peel back mysterious layers. And lately, I’ve been wondering what you do in the shower.”

  * * *

  Blake Shelton’s country song, This Can’t Be Good, blasted through the trees a mile out. A niggle of unease squatted on J.J.’s shoulder as he guided Suzy through the tree line toward the bonfire circle. The crowd was thick, the smoke thicker, and the music boom-boomed through car speakers. The sound ricocheted off the cliff wall and sailed out across the water, leaving no doubt the party wouldn’t last long. People living on the other side of Brock Burrow Lake would hear the ruckus and know exactly what was going on.

  The niggle fell into the dirt when familiar faces materialized out of the smoke. J.J. smiled, doled out a few of his beauty-pageant waves and alternated between a “Hey, man…” and a “How’s it going?” He hand hugged with his new girl…his real girl, and when he looked down at Suzy, a perma-grin spread over his face.

  Boom-boom…Boom-boom. His heart beat hit the gas along with the music. Boom-boom. Here he was, with his true Blue.

  “Do you wanna beer?” J.J. pulled Suzy’s hand to his side until she glanced at him. There were her stunners, her bluer-than-blue eyes, but they looked jittery like she was nervous.

  “No, thanks.” She forced a smile and skimmed the glowing faces, shifting on her feet.

  “Yeah, me neither. We don’t have to stay long. Let’s find—”

  “Rad-boner, dude!” Will traipsed over with a sloshing Solo cup and slung an arm around J.J.’s shoulders. Nice to see he was a hundred percent thawed out and in good spirits. “You made it. Hey, Blue, how ‘bout a hug?” He was tall and dropped onto Suzy with all his weight.

  “C’mon, don’t get her wet, man.” J.J. tried to pry Will’s arm off her. “You’re spilling your beer.”

  “Would you lighten up, dude? I want to chat with Blue, here.” Will’s arm draped across Suzy’s shoulders, his red plastic cup dangled at her side. “I love your hair down.” Will breathed into Suzy’s giggling face. “Gorgeous.”

  What a drunk. With a clenched jaw, J.J. raised his fist to study his grip. Oh, how it wanted to kiss Will’s face, really bad. One smack was all he needed to put Will flat on his gaming cushion. Lights out.

  “Dude’s jealous. Look at him, Blue.” Will laughed like a braying donkey. “His face is as red as your hair.”

  “J.J., are you feeling a little jealous?” Suzy mocked him with a light-hearted grin. “It’s normal. I don’t mind.”

  “I don’t sound like that.” J.J. smirked. Funny girl. He turned to Will. “And for your information, Suzy and I are official—”

  “J.J.!” Gemma’s voice cut through the air.

  “—scorchers.” J.J. turned as his ex and The Mouth pushed through a sea of flannel and denim to stand in front of them. Holly crossed her arms and shook her head with disappointment as if she’d caught him stealing brews out of someone else’s cooler.

  “Hey,” he said warily and crammed his hands into his jacket pockets. “What’s up?”

  “J.J., I need to talk to you…alone.” Gemma nodded to the other side of the fire, her eyes pleading with his.

  Alone? What for? After driving with Suzy yesterday, he’d gone straight home, and before peeling off his wet clothes, he’d called Gemma. He told her straight up there was no more thinking about it. They were over, and she’d hung up on him. So he'd taken that to mean message received. Stick a fork in it…done.

  “Nah, I don’t think so,” J.J. said. “I’m here with my girl.”

  “Your girl?” Holly cocked out her hip. “Looks to me like she�
�s with Will. He’s got his hands all over her. Am I right?”

  Suzy’s eyes cut away, giving the fire her full attention.

  “Hey, now, she’s just holding me up,” Will slurred gallantly, hugging Suzy’s shoulders. “Scorcher, huh?” he murmured next to her hair.

  “J.J., it’s private, okay? We didn’t get a chance to talk last night, and I don’t want to have this conversation in front of everyone.” Gemma flicked a stony glance at Suzy and then back at him. “I get that you two are here together, but can’t I get one minute of your time?”

  “One.” He held up his finger. There was no J.J. and Gemma anymore, and if he had to spell it out for her, now was the time, so he could move on, free and clear. He turned to Suzy and gave her a steady gaze. “I’ll be right back, buttercup. Don’t you worry.”

  “She’s not going to worry. She’s got me.” Will dropped his arm and turned to Suzy. “What do you see in that clown? I can take him, you know.”

  J.J. narrowed his eyes. So he’s the clown now? Ha! “You better watch it.” He growled before stalking off with his ex by his side.

  Gemma led him around the fire pit to a spot free of extra ears and stood there, looking at him with her black-rimmed, somber eyes. J.J. crossed his arms and glanced away. He searched through the forking flames to see Suzy next to Will, who gestured wildly, like the big goofy drunk that he was, either trying to impress her or simply keeping her entertained. J.J. narrowed his eyes. Will had his back, didn’t he? Or maybe he was busy charming the slim jeans off his new girlfriend—J.J. rolled his knuckles into a fist—figuratively speaking, of course.

  He almost didn’t get Suzy pried out of her house tonight, and with their relationship in the fledgling stage, she was a flight risk. She might dump him in the dogwoods on her way out of town and leave him with a pounding case of meatball heart. No, he couldn’t even think about it. He’d sunk quick and deep into a quagmire of gloppy feelings for her. They started off fake and ended up real. He felt connected to Suzy, and it left him aching and scared for more, and he was really confused about what “more” meant. One thing was for sure—he should be over there right now, putting that spark in her blue eyes, not his buddy, that braying, snorting, slobbering—